Truth and the Shell of Delusions

The lyrics below paint an interesting picture, describing defeat in unnecessary acceptance that the past is the unalterable future. But it’s the last line that really triggered me as it fit right along with where I have been recently “Limiting comfort to a claustrophobic shell comprised by our own delusions.”

Excerpt from the song Fragmented Oblivion by Odius Mortem
Reasoning and rational a deficient acceptance of ends
Convinced the future resembles the past
Molding reality to refuse progression
disconnected from origins of being
Repeating these cycles of life
Swarms of perception melted together normality ripped and reformed
Limiting comfort to a claustrophobic shell comprised by our own delusions

In the last week I have started to come to terms with part of the shell I have created from my own delusions and the comfort I have repeatedly found in these delusions. This shell has been so reinforced with years of bad decisions, lies told to make excuses, and the stories making mock truth of it all.

Not too long ago I spoke into the atmosphere the desire to have someone in my life who would challenge me and my stubbornness. I was told to be careful in what I wished for. One could say that in a way, the law of attraction worked with this one.

I recently have been pushed, in a firm but gentle way into the spotlight of pure honesty. I have stood on the edge in my mind glaring at the small mound of what I know is a much bigger mountain of questions I need to ask myself. It is time for me to start pushing myself.

Thank you for the starting momentum.

Years of repeated patterns have engraved a groove so deep that I can't see over the side naturally unless I reach to do so. The hammer is in hand and the walls blocking the truth will come down with time. One can say that recognizing the problem is half the battle. I see that I am in the groove, but know now that I don’t have to stay there if I don’t want to be there. There will certainly be times where I slide right back in, but failure doesn’t have to be permanent. That’s a choice.

Claustrophobic is highly appropriate for the state that my life has been in for quite awhile. I also find it interesting that claustrophobia is a state of fear.

I have been holding on to another quote that I think is appropriate for this post and will end with it. I so want to find comfort in the truth and not delusions, as truth breeds truth.

Truth only reveals itself when one gives up all preconceived ideas. ~Shoseki